5 Şubat 2026 Perşembe

Pandora's Box - Borders of Love 1.

Borders of Love 1. - October 2017


Imagine love

Imagine music

Imagine peace

'Imagine all the people... 

sharing the world...' 


It was 14 February 2010 night that Lobna and Robert (to be called lob&rob later on) met for the first time at Lonely Beach at Thailand. It was the Chinese New Year and accidentally Valentine Day too. Robert was travelling with his sister Sarah and both were saying at Lonely Beach for quite a bit. Robert was called between his friends Rock Star Rob. He wasn't a professional musician but he has a huge lover of Syd Barret, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, Pink Floyd, The Door and a lot more of interesting information about the 60s & 70s music history and stories. Rob had a brand new black yamaha classic guitar that I would learn later that he was playing and signing with lyrics from nowhere once he was happy or drunk or angry or sad or tried or laying on a laylo… he basically play in each status he is in as if his word would come out from his guitar translated into his fingers and into his lyrics, as a way of expressing himself into the world instead of spending his time talking, other than than he would usually be silent and shy. 

Lobna; myself, called Lob between my friends. I just arrived at Thailand one week before it. I was working at International Road Transport Union based in Switzerland for almost 4 years and I needed to take a long break. I left my job after my last project where I managed to organise a meeting between Arab Union and European Union to collaborate. I took a Lonely Planet with me decided to go to Thailand. I aways had Lonely Planet whenever I traveled and since I’m a 3rd world citizen I never tried to bother myself applying for visas for vacations. The world was big enough to explore and I was traveling to 1st and 2nd world since I had to because of my multiple jobs and my meeting I did so far.

Bangkonk was too crazy, too noisy, too crowd, for much of everything for my taste. I checked at Lonely Planet and found there is a great party at Lonely Beach! I backed First a bus for 2 hours then a fast -but absolutely not fast- 9 hours train followed by 5 hours by a car, 45 minutes at freeboot and finally 30 minutes by Tuk Tuk (a little seating thing can carry 4 people and their stuff with a tiny motorcycle) lastly arrived! I found a bungalow, took a shower and head to the party!

Robert and Sarah were already at the the party at Lonely Beach that night. The Beach was full of people from around the globe and everyone was dancing. It was probably the biggest party I have ever saw in my life. It was full with tattoos makers, glow in the darks painters, papers lights floating around in all colours, dragons made of colourful papers, Thai massage masters, fantastic food and fruit everywhere, drinks served in coconuts and buckets full of Thai whisky with eventually made the entire beach completely drunk!

Between all the crowd Sarah and me at some point started to dance on the stage were the musicians are. I do remember we did share our drink with her and her bother, rob, just before climbing of the stage, that rob was handsome and cool. We were trying to buy a drink with rob and Thai people got confused about out names lob and rob. The day in 2010 we stared to call us lob&rob until today.

At some point Sarah just pushed out of the stage and I fell down about 2 meters to the sand and rob has to come and help me to goto the hospital first to check if I had broken my ankle but lucky it wasn’t. We were then send to a Thai massage for a couple of days and not to be able to walk on that leg. It was late and rob has to help me walking to me bungalow back. We had a long night until early morning talking about music. After that lob&rob traveled for 6 months about Thailand and Cambodia. Sarah traveled with us for a while but later she left and we continued. We tried to go to Vietnam so we applied for a visa but my visa was rejected were rob visa was alright but Rob didn't go without me.

We continued to travel back into Thailand again. When we met in 2010 both of us were hurt bout making a family. Each of us had its our story. Rob has lost his mother just a few years ago and I never trusted a man referring to my alive but for me dead father. We never really talked about it until we get really completely drunk or if Sarah had told me before she had left us. So we had a simple plan that we agreed on without mentioning it. lob&rob had a plan, lob would plan next destination, both travel, find a bungalow, go swim, have sex and shower, lob take pictures, yoga, read and write while rob play and sing.



Bureaucracy & Love

Pandora's Box - memories - May 2017

A gas bullet did not but bureaucracy might kill me. 

I guess everyone got the public news that Robert & me are finally after 7 years decided to settle & to get married. But everyone is asking us 'when' is the wedding? 

We are still waiting for the 'municipality' to give us an ok to get married. After that we need to get an appointment for a wedding. Once we are married our file will be send to the 'department of foreign affairs' then I have to go back to the country that I come from and apply to change my UK tourist visa to a residence visa. That might take sometime and I have to stay out of UK until I get a residence visa. The funny thing is that I didn't go to Turkey for almost 3 years since the accident and I'm not sure I will be safe right now considering me being an icon, my case being never opened plus my interviews internationally and my Gezi theatre might bother the boss. 

I'm getting married in UK with my Turkish passport as I'm travelling with it for years so far. My Jordanian passport was expired in 2008 but of course it does inform on my 'birth certificate' that I'm Jordanian. So I will ask once we are married if I can go and get the UK residence visa in Jordan and inform my worries about my security in Turkey. Meanwhile I can renew my passport inside Jordan as I was informed that it would take forever in the Jordanian embassy in UK plus a penal for being outside the country with an expired passport. I can go to Jordan with my Turkish passport, as there is no visa between two countries. 

The UK 'municipality' will answer our marriage between 28-70 days starting 26 April (In fact we did apply on 28 March but for almost an absurd reason the translation of my divorce was not accepted so we had to do it again) My EU working visa will end at 31 July. UK tourist visa will end at 31 August. It is all very tight and if the UK municipality waits until the last day I might end up with no insurance in EU at all! My medicine cannot be sold at the pharmacy without a prescription from a neurology doctor. Usually I must see a neurologist every month for a general check since I did have a few epilepsies after Gezi Park and I take 3000 mg everyday plus endless painkillers as my headache didn't stop for a single moment since I woke up. My doctor is in Berlin and I'm advised not to leave the country before I get the reply from the municipality. I do have enough medicine for 2 more months. But after it I need to see a neurologist to write my medicine or I will end up in multi focal sympathetic epilepsies. 

To be honest it is all tragically funny; it should have been romantic with Robert and me, being in love and meeting after 7 years again, building a new life together and finally deciding to settle and get old together. I found wedding dress from the 1950s but now I will be thinking during the party we need to leave the country after this and to get me a residence sticker on my passport! This bureaucracy is just playing language-games! Frankly a gas bullet did not but bureaucracy might kill me. I'm tried of these documents & visas and being also healthily sick. I asked my mother the other day; 'when does this exile finish mother?! She smiled; trying to give me some power over Skype. She said 'Soon Lulu, soon'. She send me her Israel'i 'birth certificate' in 'Hebrew & Arabic' in 1945 in Jerusalem and the picture of my grandfather with him as a traffic police in his English uniform as Palestine was mandated by England until 1948. 

After Gezi I moved to Denmark then to Germany and now a new country with new bureaucracy while all I need is to 'heal': my brain, my pain, my body, my languages, to write, to sing, to play, how to live with epilepsy... but those are the times when I don't write a lot. When I want to write during these times I either end up complaining or swearing at the world. I'm still angry; in fact I'm furious, but still again I cannot stop thinking about Stephen Hawking is still hoping to go to space! The world is in hell, it was always like it but there are good people around me and I'm blessed to find them. So I do remember to take a breath and enjoy living & loving “